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The Beaver, Vol. I, No. 4, January 1921 by Company

A trillion simply cannot be embraced in our thought


Ambition, the fire under the boilers of Industry would die and the pop-valves of Commerce would cease to reveal live power that drives the pistons of progress.

A Martian at the Rink

Picture a man from Mars, just descended, as he steps into an H.B.C. curling rink during the ninth "end"--when Scottish excitement is at its hottest. Try to comprehend his bewilderment as he hears frenzied shouts of "_SWEEP, SWEEP, SWEEP 'er up! GET IT across the hog!_" And again--"_out turn, Mac; draw-weight and a wick off this one. Just come TO it!_"

And sweatered, mufflered figures contort themselves in fantastic fox-trots on the ice as they swing mad brooms in the van of the skidding stones.

The grey rocks curl and thump--or twist uncannily to a berth behind guardian stones. "_WE LIE_," bursts in raucous chorus from steaming throats. "A marvelous confession thinks the man from Mars."

The roarin' game of Cur-r-r-lin' is in full fling at many of the Company's branches. Young and old all become _younger_ in a fast and furious "draw."

Buy a broom and a pair of "galoshes" and get on the ice. Forget business, bid dull care begone. Curl ten "ends" and then you'll say "where's that pack of worries that was hounding me this afternoon?"



The large proportion of the human race which is afflicted with "Self Importance" can draw pointed conclusion from the facts that:

(1) Michelson the scientist has discovered an accurate method of measuring the distant stars, by which it is determined that one star in Orion is _twenty-seven trillion times as large as the earth_, and twenty-seven million times as large as the Sun. (It's no use trying to visualize this tremendous planet. Even a _billion_ is incomprehensible to the human mind; a _trillion_ simply cannot be embraced in our thought.)

(2) Latest available figures indicate that there are about _two billion people living on the Earth_, despite the slaughter of war. We are somewhere in that crowd.

If we ever feel ourselves getting "chesty in the head," let us repress even the faintest stirrings of Egotism, for we're only one in two billion (never would be missed!) riding to an unticketed destination on a "pin-point planet" that swirls every day a million miles nearer to that gigantic sun, _Alpha Orionus_ (see it any clear night in the heavens) which is so tremendous in dimension that our poor little earth at the instant of contact would sputter out like a tiny drop of grease on a big stove.

Our Reporters

The Beaver should be _all-seeing, all-knowing_--as far as H.B.C. events are concerned. If a single incident which affects the Company or its employees escapes being reported to this journal, we are not fulfilling our mission. If any other publication tells of an H.B.C. event or reports any H.B.C. employees' activities which do not reach _The Beaver_--_then we're_ "_scooped_," in the parlance of the press.

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