A DIVERSITY OF CREATURES
By
RUDYARD KIPLING
1917
PREFACE
With two exceptions, the dates at the head of these stories show when they were published in magazine form. 'The Village that Voted the Earth was Flat,' and 'My Son's Wife' carry the dates when they were written.
RUDYARD KIPLING.
CONTENTS
As Easy as ABC
_MacDonough's Song_
Friendly Brook
_The Land_
In the Same Boat
'_Helen all Alone_'
The Honours of War
_The Children_
The Dog Hervey
_The Comforters_
The Village that Voted the Earth was Flat
_The Press_
In the Presence
_Jobson's Amen_
Regulus
_A Translation_
The Edge of the Evening
_Rebirth_
The Horse Marines
_The Legend of Mirth_
'My Son's Wife'
_The Floods_
_The Fabulists_
The Vortex
_The Song of Seven Cities_
'Swept and Garnished'
Mary Postgate
_The Beginnings_
A DIVERSITY OF CREATURES
As Easy as A.B.C.
(1912)
_The A.B.C., that semi-elected, semi-nominated body of a few score persons, controls the Planet. Transportation is Civilisation, our motto runs. Theoretically we do what we please, so long as we do not interfere with the traffic_ and all it implies. _Practically, the A.B.C. confirms or annuls all international arrangements, and, to judge from its last report, finds our tolerant, humorous, lazy little Planet only too ready to shift the whole burden of public administration on its shoulders_.
'With the Night Mail[1].'
[Footnote 1: _Actions and Reactions_.]
Isn't it almost time that our Planet took some interest in the proceedings of the Aerial Board of Control? One knows that easy communications nowadays, and lack of privacy in the past, have killed all curiosity among mankind, but as the Board's Official Reporter I am bound to tell my tale.
Table of contents (by pages)
- 1: A Diversity of Creatures by Rudyard Kipling
- 2: Of which the Victor Pirolo is
- 3: You cannot argue with the Planet
- 4: ' said a girl's voice from the verandah
- 5: 'The Victor Pirolo lifted like a bubble
- 6: Why on the earth are they singing
- 7: ' Dragomiroff began hysterically
- 8: 'I had collapsed beside Dragomiroff
- 9: It was Pirolo who came to our rescue
- 10: But we've had a little fuss with our Serviles
- 11: And hear the slag pools crackle as they hardened and set
- 12: ' the Mayor whispered to Takahira
- 13: 'We cut out because they made crowds and invaded privacy
- 14: 'He motioned to the Pirolo to drop between us and the sun
- 15: I shall take all your Serviles away with me at once
- 16: With the exception of Arnott and Pirolo
- 17: Fruity voice of Leopold Vincent
- 18: And cast into captivity in a noisome dungeon
- 19: ' said Pirolo pathetically to a shrieking woman
- 20: ' Jabez rubbed his wet handbill on his wetter coat sleeve
- 21: 'fore we get anywheres anigh the brook
- 22: Mary come out o' one o' those Lunnon Childern Societies
- 23: And she was bundled off to Lunnon
- 24: Dockett he'd sent up to Perry Shaw for me no
- 25: The roosh nigh jerked the pooker out of his hand grips
- 26: An' now we'll pook him back again
- 27: They couldn't make naun out of him
- 28: And old Hobden spread it broadcast
- 29: ' Conroy stamped his foot feebly as he blew his nose
- 30: Same old Najdolene same old lie
- 31: To Conroy in his chambers came
- 32: And pressed out from its palm a Najdolene case
- 33: Asked Conroy to call her maid to bring her a forgotten book
- 34: I walk down a covered alleyway
- 35: ''One awful shock not palpitation
- 36: Conroy could only shake his head
- 37: 'My maid Nurse Blaber has the basket and things
- 38: And Conroy nodded across the smoke rings
- 39: He saw Miss Henschil on horse back near Lancaster Gate
- 40: And punched Conroy in the short ribs
- 41: Yet through the worst Conroy saw
- 42: Nurse Blaber was a little interested in Conroy's mother
- 43: ' Miss Henschil explained to Conroy
- 44: 'Miss Henschil leaned forward and collapsed
- 45: 7 ran thus ' Absolutely confirmed
- 46: And he illustrated his theories with cigar ends
- 47: But the fact is ' Trivett halted
- 48: Corkran in the Chair of Justice
- 49: Imagine a sumptuously equipped garage
- 50: Handed the whole garniture over to Ipps
- 51: Wontner applied himself to his glass
- 52: Wontner was looking full at Ipps
- 53: Wontner looked at them severely
- 54: Wontner in an unguarded whisper
- 55: While Wontner changed into uniform
- 56: Stalky and I went home again in The Infant's car
- 57: The Dog Hervey April 1914 My friend Attley
- 58: ' Miss Sichliffe turned crimson
- 59: A month after Miss Sichliffe took him
- 60: Because you don't own Mittleham
- 61: Next day I returned him to Miss Sichliffe
- 62: I want you to remember that my name is Moira
- 63: 'Now I must get over to Mittleham
- 64: Where Attley sat hugging a nurse
- 65: And Shend and I had the little table all to ourselves
- 66: For Matchem entered with the bromide
- 67: Shend flinched a little when he saw him
- 68: He woke up when we said good bye at Mittleham
- 69: And was explaining the whole art of editorship to Ollyett
- 70: Ollyett with an eye to his evening paper
- 71: ' cried young Ollyett suddenly
- 72: Masquerier stared at him lengthily with gunmetal blue eyes
- 73: Sigden had a fund of reminiscences
- 74: But Sir Thomas Ingell was of sterner stuff
- 75: But there's no use fishing till the swim's baited
- 76: ' Ollyett answered with perfect sincerity
- 77: 'in all its poignant purity at Huckley
- 78: 'It cost Bat Masquerier two thousand
- 79: He was President of the Geoplanarians
- 80: But he went wild over the Gubby
- 81: ' She turned to the impassive files of the Gubby dancers
- 82: Huckley was laid out for it to look at
- 83: Which had never heard of Huckley
- 84: And what'll she make out of the gramophone rights
- 85: Nor stewards with the harmonium
- 86: You ' but Ollyett has the record of the language
- 87: Ollyett was specially careful about the language
- 88: ' Pallant went back to the paper with knitted brows
- 89: Anything to do with Huckley interests us
- 90: Strand by strand to various notes
- 91: He simply adjourned the House till six that evening
- 92: I am well pleased with Rutton Singh and Attar Singh
- 93: They made appeal to Rutton Singh and Attar Singh
- 94: Rutton Singh also made shinan
- 95: And as for their streets stinking with mota kahars
- 96: Than the Durbar Sahib at Amritsar
- 97: Granadeers be very tall men under very tall bearskins
- 98: They could draw on ten thousand Granadeers
- 99: And I will steal a time and myself take them to Wanidza
- 100: We go to the Palace at Wanidza with the offerings
- 101: I believe concerning one Regulus
- 102: Oblittus agrees with milesne Crassi
- 103: 'So delubris is deluges is it
- 104: That's the meaning of scilicet
- 105: But then how do you render obstantes
- 106: The same head that minted probrosis as a verb
- 107: Lidgett reported at once to the Head
- 108: Lidgett looked him up and down and
- 109: Hartopp accepted the challenge like a bantam
- 110: For Winton still squirmed vengefully
- 111: ' said Stalky behind his claret coloured handkerchief
- 112: ''Shut up you and your Berserks
- 113: Mullins' this was Babcock tertius
- 114: ' said the experienced Mullins
- 115: I consider Winton a first class type
- 116: 'Did the Zigler automatic gun do all this
- 117: ' Zigler began as smoothly as the car
- 118: 'I hired this off of my Lord Marshalton
- 119: And outlook was vurry limmutted in those days
- 120: ' Zigler slapped a fat Debrett on the table
- 121: Mankeltow rubs his neck with his handkerchief
- 122: Walen starts to go through 'em
- 123: When Walen stopped translatin'
- 124: Something Lord Lundie let fall a while back gives me an idea
- 125: Lord Lundie and Walen would have been alongside us
- 126: Footnote 6 Now Viscount Haldane of Cloan
- 127: Pyecroft lifted him down and he hobbled into the back room
- 128: Leggatt drew the line at the girls
- 129: Pyecroft passed him his rations through a flap in the door
- 130: Morshed cohered on the instant
- 131: Leggatt preserved a strictly nootral attitude
- 132: ''I tell you I 'adn't leesure to notice
- 133: Morshed saw it before the beams shut off
- 134: Our Lootenant was quick to seize the advantage
- 135: ' He waved his pipe towards Leggatt
- 136: 'The boy in the knickerbockers
- 137: Morshed was of opinion you'd earned 'em
- 138: As the Seraph showed that night
- 139: Frankwell Midmore's lot was far from contemptible
- 140: And breathed heavily behind Midmore
- 141: ' said Midmore through the bad tastes in his mouth
- 142: The man looked Midmore over in silence
- 143: Sidney saw him while yet far off
- 144: Till Rhoda came in with a silver candlestick
- 145: ' was all Midmore found to say
- 146: Then Midmore laughed till he could scarcely stand
- 147: ' said Midmore with immense feeling
- 148: Enlarging the breach Midmore had made
- 149: Then Midmore would go home and identify them
- 150: ' said Midmore with a deep sigh
- 151: It was a sodden note which ran 'Dear Rhoda Mr
- 152: They could hear above the thud thud of the gorged floodgates
- 153: ' Miss Sperrit whispered to Midmore
- 154: ' Midmore bent over the window sill
- 155: Overcame Midmore without warning
- 156: Midmore rose quickly saying 'Well
- 157: ' For some reason Midmore spoke sharply
- 158: But bid it down to the lowlands
- 159: ' Penfentenyou replied ambassadorially
- 160: Lingnam was only drawing abreast of things Imperial
- 161: ' said Penfentenyou suspiciously
- 162: ''Haven't you ever heard of Sumtner Barton ales
- 163: Lingnam swerved frantically to the right
- 164: A voice cried 'You've frowtened 'em
- 165: Kept to the south end of the platform by the bookstall
- 166: You'd better fetch Lingnam over
- 167: Marched the Agent General and Holford the hired chauffeur
- 168: Lingnam was ruthlessly gleaning
- 169: Frau Ebermann groaned through sticky lips and lay still
- 170: Frau Ebermann watched indignantly
- 171: And pawed the plush approvingly
- 172: ' said Frau Ebermann 'Are you lost
- 173: And added half apologetically to Frau Ebermann
- 174: Mary Postgate 1915 Of Miss Mary Postgate
- 175: After a spirited scene with Miss Fowler
- 176: ' said overdressed Miss Fowler
- 177: 'The room was whirling round Mary Postgate
- 178: All his civilian clothes can be given away Belgian refugees
- 179: ''We'll burn them in the destructor
- 180: I'm going to the village at two o'clock for some paraffin
- 181: Hennis changed his tone completely
- 182: 'How Wynn would have loved this
- 183: 'Ich haben der todt Kinder gesehn
