FALLING IN LOVE
_WITH OTHER ESSAYS ON MORE EXACT BRANCHES OF SCIENCE_
BY
GRANT ALLEN
LONDON SMITH, ELDER, & CO., 15 WATERLOO PLACE 1889
[_All rights reserved_]
PREFACE
Some people complain that science is dry. That is, of course, a matter of taste. For my own part, I like my science and my champagne as dry as I can get them. But the public thinks otherwise. So I have ventured to sweeten accompanying samples as far as possible to suit the demand, and trust they will meet with the approbation of consumers.
Of the specimens here selected for exhibition, my title piece originally appeared in the _Fortnightly Review_: 'Honey Dew' and 'The First Potter' were contributions to _Longman's Magazine_: and all the rest found friendly shelter between the familiar yellow covers of the good old _Cornhill_. My thanks are due to the proprietors and editors of those various periodicals for kind permission to reproduce them here.
G.A.
THE NOOK, DORKING:
_September_, 1889.
CONTENTS
PAGE
FALLING IN LOVE 1 RIGHT AND LEFT 18 EVOLUTION 31 STRICTLY INCOG. 50 SEVEN-YEAR SLEEPERS 72 A FOSSIL CONTINENT 88 A VERY OLD MASTER 106 BRITISH AND FOREIGN 123 THUNDERBOLTS 137 HONEY-DEW 159 THE MILK IN THE COCO-NUT 176 FOOD AND FEEDING 193 DE BANANA 216 GO TO THE ANT 233 BIG ANIMALS 251 FOSSIL FOOD 271 OGBURY BARROWS 287 FISH OUT OF WATER 302 THE FIRST POTTER 316 THE RECIPE FOR GENIUS 328 DESERT SANDS 341
FALLING IN LOVE
An ancient and famous human institution is in pressing danger. Sir George Campbell has set his face against the time-honoured practice of Falling in Love. Parents innumerable, it is true, have set their faces against it already from immemorial antiquity; but then they only attacked the particular instance, without venturing to impugn the institution itself on general principles. An old Indian administrator, however, goes to work in all things on a different pattern. He would always like to regulate human life generally as a department of the India Office; and so Sir George Campbell would fain have husbands and wives selected for one another (perhaps on Dr. Johnson's principle, by the Lord Chancellor) with a view to the future development of the race, in the process which he not very felicitously or elegantly describes as 'man-breeding.' 'Probably,' he says, as reported in _Nature_, 'we have enough physiological knowledge to effect a vast improvement in the pairing of individuals of the same or allied races if we could only apply that knowledge to make fitting marriages, instead of giving way to foolish ideas about love and the tastes of young people, whom we can hardly trust to choose their own bonnets, much less to choose in a graver matter in which they are most likely to be influenced by frivolous prejudices.' He wants us, in other words, to discard the deep-seated inner physiological promptings of inherited instinct, and to substitute for them some calm and dispassionate but artificial selection of a fitting partner as the father or mother of future generations.
Table of contents (by pages)
- 1: Falling in Love by Grant Allen
- 2: A great deal better than Sir George Campbell
- 3: Among exogamous tribes such an instinct aided
- 4: How very subtle this intuition is
- 5: Would the committee manage things
- 6: Look at the analogy of domestic animals
- 7: While parents and moralists are for ever saying
- 8: Yet adaptation between husband and wife
- 9: I know that Primitive Man was ambidextrous
- 10: They must have been ambidextrous
- 11: That most vulnerable portion is undoubtedly the heart
- 12: Necessarily follows the rule of writing
- 13: Grasps the button in his right hand
- 14: The well named or happy omened
- 15: EVOLUTION Everybody nowadays talks about evolution
- 16: Evolutionism first began to be talked about
- 17: Kant and Laplace came first in time
- 18: This nebular theory of such exquisite concinnity
- 19: The crust underwent innumerable changes
- 20: Buffon to his English contemporary
- 21: He became the real father of modern biological evolutionism
- 22: Made the evolutionary movement
- 23: According to the evolutionists
- 24: We owe to one man alone Herbert Spencer
- 25: They hide as much as possible among the thickest seaweed
- 26: The larva of one such deceptive insect
- 27: Is simply sandy and speckled with grey
- 28: So far as the sargasso haunting animals are concerned
- 29: Just like the buckthorn leaves
- 30: Belt saw a green leaf like locust in Nicaragua
- 31: Quietly devours a stray fat termite or so
- 32: Quite after the fashion of the insects they mimic
- 33: The animal also possesses a normal yellow pigment
- 34: Whereupon John Nokes was forthwith acquitted accordingly
- 35: Aged ten years scientific observers have no right
- 36: So strange a recovery from a long torpid condition
- 37: During this period of hibernation
- 38: Hibernation becomes almost a complete torpor
- 39: There are some toads in a hole
- 40: The spawn of toads is very small
- 41: The toad is a nocturnal animal
- 42: And other quaint marsupial animals
- 43: So far as regards mammalian life
- 44: If there were rhinoceroses in Papua
- 45: The familiar opossum of plantation melodies
- 46: The flora is by no means exclusively an ancient flora
- 47: The apteryx or kiwi of New Zealand
- 48: The ornithorhynchus has a bill like a duck's
- 49: Tree haunting marsupial spider monkeys
- 50: The barramunda has both lungs and gills
- 51: These latter including also the zebras
- 52: Croll began ingeniously to hunt about for
- 53: Carved his bas relief in pre Glacial Europe
- 54: I fear we must admit that pre Glacial man cut
- 55: It was practised by pre Glacial man in the caves of Perigord
- 56: But armed only with roughly chipped stone implements
- 57: The other paper weight is a polished neolithic tomahawk
- 58: If a genuine Horsa ever actually existed
- 59: Patrick did not expel the reptiles
- 60: The smaller nettle and the Roman nettle
- 61: Around the Kerry mountains and the Lakes of Killarney
- 62: Take the instance of the belladonna
- 63: The flora of Cornwall and the Scilly Isles
- 64: With true Teutonic persistence
- 65: But they firmly hold that thunderbolts do exist in real life
- 66: He figured to himself the thunderbolt as a barbed arrowhead
- 67: The thunderbolt being thus an accepted fact
- 68: But if they were truly thunderbolts
- 69: Whether stone axes or flint arrowheads
- 70: Belemnites are generally found in immense numbers together
- 71: One of which was a large belemnite
- 72: Both meteorites and stone hatchets
- 73: Elmo is merely a corruption of Helena
- 74: Thenceforth the thunderbolt ceased to exist
- 75: They soon reach their own particular aphides
- 76: Only one generation of aphides
- 77: Are quite wanting in all the aphides
- 78: The bright green aphis of the rose
- 79: But the ants are useful allies to the aphides
- 80: Is an aphis specialised for that particular bine
- 81: By secreting bitter or otherwise unpleasant juices
- 82: Lichtenstein calls the foundress
- 83: The cosmogony and the milk in the coco nut are
- 84: A young coco nut is thus seen to consist
- 85: A certain number of precocious coco nuts
- 86: Which knob is in fact the embryo palm or seedling
- 87: Has the coco nut three pores at the top instead of one
- 88: For coco nuts are essentially shore loving trees
- 89: Our coco nut is lucky enough to escape the robber crabs
- 90: But the worst thing about the coco nut palm
- 91: The cook tempts us later on with coco nut cake
- 92: The amoeba the terror of theologians
- 93: So as to deceive and cajole the natural palate
- 94: Bottles and labels do not exist
- 95: If taken incautiously in too large doses
- 96: A mustard plaster makes us tingle almost immediately
- 97: ' That is the true explanation of capsicums
- 98: Fancy attempting nowadays to live a single day without sugar
- 99: And the inner kernel of edible fruits
- 100: 'that so many poisons are tasteless
- 101: That proves that it is of a bilious temperament
- 102: Plain boiled rice is almost wholly insipid
- 103: He called the banana Musa sapientum
- 104: Then you introduce a group of coco nuts
- 105: And three rows of seeds in their fruits or capsules
- 106: Seedlings are absolutely distinct individuals
- 107: 400 pounds of plantains or bananas
- 108: The banana proper is eaten raw
- 109: You probably never heard of manilla hemp before
- 110: When you ask for sago do you really see that you get it
- 111: This nectar they then carry home
- 112: McCook records to the discredit of the Colorado honey ant
- 113: The agricultural ants of Texas
- 114: The ants hardly touched the local forests
- 115: Another objectionable habit of the tropical ants
- 116: But ants have hundreds and hundreds
- 117: Is still only an occasional slaveowner
- 118: Such as the workerless Anergates
- 119: Off the remainder of that geological disquisition
- 120: Before the Glacial Epoch there comes the Pliocene
- 121: The Atlantosaurus of the Western American Jurassic beds
- 122: Other Jurassic saurians easily beat this simple record
- 123: Against any plesiosaurus that ever swam the Jurassic sea
- 124: Take the gigantic moa of New Zealand
- 125: The biggest trilobite is some two feet long
- 126: In the matter of invertebrates at least
- 127: The mammalian life was small and of low grade
- 128: When the frozen mammoths of Siberia were first discovered
- 129: The water was all pushed off into the Caspian
- 130: And there overlies the gypsum deposit
- 131: And other chlorides and sulphates
- 132: Lake Lahontan shrank away like Alice in Wonderland
- 133: Hull's map of Triassic Britain
- 134: Because phosphorus is needful for brain action
- 135: The briny is always the oceanic
- 136: A dignified representative of British archaeology
- 137: For Ogbury Barrows have been the hobby of my lifetime
- 138: Rise the twin heights of Ogbury Barrows
- 139: Ogbury Long Barrow is a very ancient monument indeed
- 140: Over the gay group of picnicking archaeologists
- 141: And go in for cremation with such thorough conviction
- 142: ' In the gossiping story of Periander
- 143: Or rather shambles along ungracefully
- 144: Where the carp are not so sophisticated
- 145: The Indian snakehead is a closely allied species
- 146: It possesses lungs as well as gills
- 147: When the young elvers come to a weir
- 148: Which he can protrude at pleasure right outside the sockets
- 149: Having duly speared and killed his antelope
- 150: Coconut shell and calabash rind
- 151: Still commonly applied to the art of pottery
- 152: Comparatively abundant keramic specimens have been unearthed
- 153: Dispensing with the aid of thongs or basketwork
- 154: Prehistoric European pottery has never a spout
- 155: Geniuses don't crop up irregularly anywhere
- 156: Who are not unfortunately geniuses
- 157: A race of hunting savages in the earliest
- 158: As soon as you permit intermarriage to take place
- 159: Little given to intermixture with others
- 160: The ultimate recipe for genius
- 161: You don't know the Kong mountains
- 162: But why are deserts rocky and sandy
- 163: Whose spores have been wafted by the wind
- 164: Spotty lizards bask on spotty sands
- 165: Giraffes and ostriches go in herds
- 166: Other desert plants which are not cactuses
- 167: The most fashionable resort in the Algerian Sahara
