IF ONLY
ETC.
BY
F.C. PHILIPS
AUTHOR OF "AS IN A LOOKING GLASS," ETC. ETC.
LEIPZIG
BERNHARD TAUCHNITZ
1904.
TO
MY OLD FRIEND AND COLLABORATOR,
SYDNEY GRUNDY,
I DEDICATE THESE PAGES.
F.C. PHILIPS.
CONTENTS.
IF ONLY
ONE CAN'T ALWAYS TELL
SONGS. AFTER VICTOR HUGO, ARMAND SILVESTRE, CHARLES ROUSSEAU AND THE VICOMTE DE BORELLI
LOVE WENT OUT WHEN MONEY WAS INVENTED
A PUZZLED PAINTER. (WRITTEN IN COLLABORATION WITH THE LATE SIR AUGUSTUS HARRIS)
* * * * *
IF ONLY.
CHAPTER I.
There is a vast deal talked in the present day about Freewill. We like to feel that we are independent agents and are ready to overlook the fact that our surroundings and circumstances and the hundred and one subtle and mysterious workings of the fate we can none of us escape, control our actions and are responsible for our movements, and make us to a great extent what we are.
A man is not even a free agent when he takes the most important step of his whole life, and marries a wife. He is impelled to it by considerations outside of himself; it affects not only his own present and future, but that of others, very often, and he must be guided accordingly.
Emerson says; "The soul has inalienable rights, and the first of these is love," but he does not say marriage. Love is the business of the idle and the idleness of the busy, but marriage is quite another affair--a grave matter, and not to be undertaken lightly, since it is the one step that can never be retraced, save through the unsavoury channels of shame and notoriety, or death itself.
But perhaps Jack Chetwynd was hampered with fewer restraining influences than most men, for he was alone in the world, without kith or kin, and might be fairly allowed to please himself, and pleasing himself in this case meant leading to the altar, or rather to the Registry Office, Miss Bella Blackall, music-hall singer and step dancer.
It was unquestionably a case of love at first sight. The girl was barely seventeen, and her girlishness attracted him quite as much as her beauty, which was exceptional. There was nothing meretricious about it, for as yet she owed nothing to art--brown hair, warm lips, soft blue eyes, and a complexion like the leaf of a white rose--a woman blossom. Then, too, she was a happy creature, full of life and happiness and bubbling over with childish merriment--no one could help liking her, he told himself, but it was something warmer than that. What makes the difference between liking and love? It is so little and yet so much. There was an air of refinement about her, too, which to his fancy seemed to protest against the vulgarities of her surroundings. He thought he could discern the stuff that meant an actress in her, and prophesied that she would before long be playing Juliet at the Haymarket. He was still at the age when the habit is to discover geniuses in unlikely places, especially when the women are pretty. He raved about her when he adjourned with his companions to the bar, and they chaffed him a good deal to his face and sneered at him behind his back. He was there the next night, and the night, after and by-and-by he managed to get introduced to her.
Table of contents (by pages)
- 1: If Only etc. by Harris and Philips
- 2: They took a small house in Camberwell New Road
- 3: Which was galling to young Chetwynd
- 4: When Saidie spoke in a resolute
- 5: Saidie turned round and faced her sister
- 6: If you will not act on my advice
- 7: John Chetwynd hardly knew how to act towards her
- 8: Chetwynd looked terribly annoyed
- 9: Chetwynd could fairly have groaned
- 10: Whispered Chetwynd in distress
- 11: Chetwynd promptly turned his back upon her
- 12: Chetwynd passed his hand over his brow dreamily
- 13: For this is how it was with Bella
- 14: John Chetwynd sat down suddenly
- 15: It was long past midnight when Bella returned
- 16: Bella opened her eyes and held up her hand curiously
- 17: John Chetwynd was not a religious man
- 18: If notoriety was what John Chetwynd desired
- 19: John Chetwynd answered with unruffled equanimity
- 20: I never can quite understand Ethel
- 21: I hope Ethel does not credit it
- 22: And the Duchess rustled away with Soames
- 23: It had altered much from what he remembered it
- 24: Bella flung her hands out with a sort of despair
- 25: You are paining yourself and me
- 26: Bella burst into tears and sobbed convulsively
- 27: He thought of Bella as she was when he had first married her
- 28: With a certain amount of equanimity
- 29: When Lady Ethel adopted that tone
- 30: Bella fell back again relievedly
- 31: And Bella partially appealed to them
- 32: Doss here will tell you what we was thinking of
- 33: Doss to her spouse after Bella had been safely escorted home
- 34: Saidie muttered something in reply
- 35: Jack I don't think I was meant for this
- 36: If I had there was no one to care but Saidie
- 37: Saidie bent over her and whispered a word or two
- 38: And Bella my wife that was my love for you
- 39: Anchored in Southampton waters
- 40: Tenterden is the widow of Colonel Tenterden
- 41: Miss Amy Conway to Miss Rose Dacre
- 42: Eventually we arrived opposite the village of Hamble
- 43: Tenterden was not present at breakfast
- 44: Oh there I fain would go Where thy foot
- 45: And with that last shaft Ruth left the room
- 46: Miss Dalmayne was about twenty three
- 47: Should you permit me to address Miss Dalmayne
- 48: Dalmayne asked me to lend him a thousand pounds
- 49: I asked Captain Morland to dine with us
- 50: Sylvester is more highly strung than Rembrandt
- 51: You have not heard of Rosaline
- 52: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY disconcerted
- 53: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY with alacrity
- 54: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY blowing a kiss
- 55: ROBERT ADDISON with a whistle
- 56: Rosaline may go out I must hurry
- 57: I shall have not made a pargain
- 58: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY desperately
- 59: We will make the abbointment soon
- 60: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY offering pouch
- 61: Sylvester was such a termagant
- 62: You keep telling me I am Rosaline I know I am
- 63: I shall never feel a liking for wives again
- 64: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY in terror
- 65: GROGGINS falling back in terror
- 66: Of course it is one of his props
- 67: He used to say that he used to call me his Toppett
- 68: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY despairingly
- 69: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY aside to ROSALINE
- 70: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY aside to ROSALINE
- 71: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY furiously
- 72: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY nervously
- 73: REMBRANDT TEMPENNY miserably
- 74: You won't get rid of old Schercl in a hurry
- 75: Allah Bismillah Remdazzlegefoo
- 76: Most Serene One REMBRANDT TEMPENNY
- 77: I will stand you jampagne to zelebrate the deal
- 78: In the meantime what about the tenner
- 79: SYLVESTER re enters with MRS
- 80: Rushing to REMBRANDT TEMPENNY
- 81: HENRICH SCHERCL sardonically
- 82: I am here to demand an exblanation
- 83: Fair beautiful form exquisite arms er HENRICH SCHERCL
- 84: Tempenny proposed to continue the sittings
- 85: You would call me sentimental old fool
- 86: You may think HENRICH SCHERCL
- 87: Enter TEMPENNY and SYLVESTER
