JACK AND THE CHECK BOOK

by

JOHN KENDRICK BANGS

Illustrated by Albert Levering

[Illustration: THE WISH BROUGHT ABOUT THE MOST ASTONISHING RESULTS--See page 54]

Harper & Brothers New York and London 1911

Copyright, 1911, by Harper & Brothers

CONTENTS

CHAP. PAGE I. JACK AND THE CHECK-BOOK 1 II. THE GREAT WISH SYNDICATE 36 III. PUSS, THE PROMOTER 74 IV. THE GOLDEN FLEECE 115 V. THE INVISIBLE CLOAK 157 VI. THE RETURN OF ALADDIN 195

ILLUSTRATIONS

THE WISH BROUGHT ABOUT THE MOST ASTONISHING RESULTS _Frontispiece_ THE BEANS SCATTERED IN EVERY DIRECTION 7 THE OGRE COLLAPSED IN HIS CHAIR 23 "BLESS YOU, MY CHILDREN!" 27 "A WEEK'S VACATION IN LITTLE OLD NEW YORK" 31 WITHIN THE ANCIENT HOUSE SAT THE OWNER, RICHARD WILBRAHAM 39 "BALLYHACK! LAST STATION----ALL OUT!" 51 WILBRAHAM PAID BEFORE LEAVING THE COURT-ROOM 71 "I SUPPOSE I COULD SELL YOU, BILL" 79 "TELL 'EM TO TELL MR. BONDIFELLER THAT I AM TOO BUSY TO SEE HIM" 87 "GOOD-BYE, JACK" 93 "THE HANDSOMEST TOWER IN THE WORLD" 99 "COULDN'T MAKE IT THREE MILLION, COULD YOU?" SUGGESTED MR. DOBBINS 107 "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" 121 "THERE'S THE MONEY, SIR" 131 POOR GASMERILDA SAT WHITE-FACED 137 "I AM YOUR FAIRY GODMOTHER, GASMERILDA" 141 "THIS IS THE GREATEST CINCH IN THE HISTORY OF FINANCE" 149 "DERE ISS SOMEDINGS IN DOT SEADT, ALRETTY YET!" 169 "THERE MUST BE SOMETHING THE MATTER WITH MY NERVES" 175 "HUMPH!" SAID SHE, SCORNFULLY 199 "THIS IS A HALF-PORTION, SIR," SAID SAMBO 207 "YOU RUBBED THE LAMP, I BELIEVE?" 213 "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?" THEY DEMANDED 231

JACK AND THE CHECK-BOOK

I

Once upon a time a great many years ago there lived a poor woman who, having invested all her savings in mining shares, was soon brought to penury and want. She had bought her modest little home and all there was in it on the instalment plan, and here she was, upon a certain beautiful morning in late spring, absolutely penniless, and three days off, staring her in the face, were payments due on the piano, the kitchen range and even on the house itself. Moreover, the winter had been a bitter one. Four times had the water-pipes frozen and burst, and a plumber's bill of appalling magnitude had come in the morning's mail, with the stern admonition stamped in red letters at the bottom:

Table of contents (by pages)

• 1: Jack and the Check Book by John Kendrick Bangs
• 2: Whistling merrily as he strode along
• 3: Said the squeaky little voice from behind the leaves
• 4: Replied the squeaky little voice
• 5: I shall be very glad to meet your stepfather
• 6: The ogre placed Jack in a high chair at his side
• 7: But if I affix six ciphers to that
• 8: The ogre strode up and down the room
• 9: The ancestral home of the Wilbrahams
• 10: When the nerve killing monotony of the ceaseless tick tock
• 11: At this time when eggs are she began
• 12: I wish first then that this old farm was in Ballyhack
• 13: The Diggville markets are Markets
• 14: Wilbraham entered his income in wishes
• 15: Midas paced the floor in his enthusiasm
• 16: Wilbraham gazed thoughtfully out of the window
• 17: The which Wilbraham paid before leaving the court room
• 18: The second son took the automobiles
• 19: Bold hand as Horace Vanderpoel
• 20: Here's hoping he won't forget Midas and Bondifeller
• 21: GORA THE CATSKILL CLUB Ask Colonel Gora to come right up
• 22: Vanderpoel for three million dollars
• 23: Which set the heart of Miss Dobbins all of a flutter
• 24: Dobbins choked and coughed apoplectically
• 25: DOBBINS Couldn't make it three million
• 26: Husband of my beloved daughter Amanda
• 27: And that from the Plaza down to Madison Square Colonel Midas
• 28: I am nothing but a poor miller with an ingrowing income
• 29: Indorsed most appropriately by a man of straw
• 30: Let her make the delivery on Monday morning
• 31: Illustration I AM YOUR FAIRY GODMOTHER
• 32: She appeared at the assay office
• 33: That's the assay office estimate
• 34: Of which Colonel Midas was president
• 35: 'Tain't me as is doin' ut ut's the owner of the buildin'
• 36: Exposed to all the icy winds that blew up the avenue
• 37: And tould me not to let anny weeds grow under me slippers
• 38: Dere iss somedings in dot seadt
• 39: I seem to detect the odor of money
• 40: With one hundred and ninety five dollars in bills
• 41: Here Midas descended from the car
• 42: Omaha Mott Haven Transcontinental Railway System was on
• 43: By following close on the heels of Midas or Moneypenny
• 44: VITHE RETURN OF ALADDIN Night had fallen over the city
• 45: In very truth a blizzard had descended upon the city
• 46: And then just for a joke he turned to the blackamoor
• 47: Sambo made a low salaam to Aladdin
• 48: Illustration YOU RUBBED THE LAMP
• 49: Replied the obedient blackamoor
• 50: Flicking the ash airily from the end of his cigar
• 51: Aladdin scratched his head in sheer bewilderment
• 52: Not even excepting Aladdin himself
• 53: At noon that day Monsieur Le Duc di Lumiere