Produced by The United States Members of the Blandings E-Group
A MAN OF MEANS
A SERIES OF SIX STORIES
By Pelham Grenville Wodehouse and C. H. Bovill
From the _Pictorial Review_, May-October 1916
CONTENTS
THE EPISODE OF THE LANDLADY'S DAUGHTER
THE EPISODE OF THE FINANCIAL NAPOLEON
THE EPISODE OF THE THEATRICAL VENTURE
THE EPISODE OF THE LIVE WEEKLY
THE DIVERTING EPISODE OF THE EXILED MONARCH
THE EPISODE OF THE HIRED PAST
THE EPISODE OF THE LANDLADY'S DAUGHTER
First of a Series of Six Stories [First published in _Pictorial Review_, May 1916]
When a seed-merchant of cautious disposition and an eye to the main chance receives from an eminent firm of jam-manufacturers an extremely large order for clover-seed, his emotions are mixed. Joy may be said to predominate, but with the joy comes also uncertainty. Are these people, he asks himself, proposing to set up as farmers of a large scale, or do they merely want the seed to give verisimilitude to their otherwise bald and unconvincing raspberry jam? On the solution of this problem depends the important matter of price, for, obviously, you can charge a fraudulent jam disseminator in a manner which an honest farmer would resent.
This was the problem which was furrowing the brow of Mr. Julian Fineberg, of Bury St. Edwards, one sunny morning when Roland Bleke knocked at his door; and such was its difficulty that only at the nineteenth knock did Mr. Fineberg raise his head.
"Come in--that dashed woodpecker out there!" he shouted, for it was his habit to express himself with a generous strength towards the junior members of his staff.
The young man who entered looked exactly like a second clerk in a provincial seed-merchant's office--which, strangely enough, he chanced to be. His chief characteristic was an intense ordinariness. He was a young man; and when you had said that of him you had said everything. There was nothing which you would have noticed about him, except the fact that there was nothing to notice. His age was twenty-two and his name was Roland Bleke.
"Please, sir, it's about my salary."
Mr. Fineberg, at the word, drew himself together much as a British square at Waterloo must have drawn itself together at the sight of a squadron of cuirassiers.
"Salary?" he cried. "What about it? What's the matter with it? You get it, don't you?"
"Yes, sir, but----"
"Well? Don't stand there like an idiot. What is it?"
Table of contents (by pages)
- 1: A Man of Means by P. G. Wodehouse
- 2: Muriel had been to Roland Bleke a mere automaton
- 3: That was reserved for Roland Bleke
- 4: Coppin removed his saucer of tea from his lips
- 5: Coppin thrust a newspaper at him
- 6: When the Coppins wanted anything
- 7: Feriaud drew him like a magnet
- 8: Now he's going to loop the loop
- 9: Founded by Geoffrey in a moment of ennui
- 10: Feriaud gesticulated to drive home his point
- 11: He felt that he had not acted well toward Muriel
- 12: Put every penny you can afford into Wildcat Reefs
- 13: Easy course of life at the Windlebirds
- 14: There has been a terrible slump in Wildcat Reefs
- 15: Roland took in the headlines with starting eyes
- 16: Windlebird sat back in her chair without answering
- 17: That was Roland's first introduction to Miss Billy Verepoint
- 18: In possession of the Windsor Theater
- 19: Miss Verepoint outlined her policy
- 20: Miss Verepoint struck the business note
- 21: He floundered in a sea of real revue
- 22: Miss Verepoint was not at her best at rehearsals
- 23: Miss Verepoint looked searchingly at him
- 24: Miss Verepoint was the first to break the silence
- 25: Miss Verepoint fought with her growing indignation
- 26: Petheram was very nice about it
- 27: He had put Petheram in his proper place
- 28: Petheram looked at him blankly
- 29: Roland wondered if he was thinking of Bessie March
- 30: Petheram always talked buoyantly about turning the corner
- 31: Roland looked round the room excitedly
- 32: Shouting in unison the words Wah
- 33: And now 'e's gorn to 'orspital
- 34: The name Windlebird caught his eye
- 35: Pook would be compelled to reply
- 36: The caoutchouc fascinated Roland Bleke
- 37: The exception Maraquita addressed as Bombito
- 38: Paranoya was an emotional country
- 39: This scheme of yours is not safe
- 40: He had forgotten Bombito for the moment
- 41: He will give an audience to the Savior of Paranoya
- 42: I am new President of Paranoya
- 43: No need to worry about Maraquita
- 44: Lady Kimbuck patted her affectionately on the shoulder
- 45: Perhaps you'd like to play a round of golf
- 46: Teal was certainly taking a liberty
- 47: I've never been at Aldershot in my life
- 48: Her ladyship might quite likely forgive you
- 49: Lord Evenwood woke with a start
- 50: Said Lady Kimbuck philosophically
