Produced by Al Haines
OUR ADMIRABLE BETTY
A ROMANCE
BY
JEFFERY FARNOL
AUTHOR OF
"THE BROAD HIGHWAY" "THE MONEY MOON" "THE AMATEUR GENTLEMAN" "THE HON. MR. TAWNISH" "THE CHRONICLES OF THE IMP" "BELTANE THE SMITH" "THE DEFINITE OBJECT"
LONDON & EDINBURGH
SAMPSON LOW, MARSTON & CO. LTD.
By the Same author.
Crown 8vo.
THE BROAD HIGHWAY THE MONEY MOON THE AMATEUR GENTLEMAN
THE HONOURABLE MR. TAWNISH Fcap, 4to. Illustrated in Colour by C. E. BROCK.
THE CHRONICLES OF THE IMP BELTANE THE SMITH THE DEFINITE OBJECT
LONDON & EDINBURGH SAMPSON LOW, MARSTON AND COMPANY LIMITED
TO
MY MOTHER
CONTENTS
CHAPTER
I. CONCERNING THE MAJOR'S CHERRIES II. INTRODUCING THE RAVISHER OF THE SAME III. WHICH TELLS HOW THE MAJOR CLIMBED A WALL IV. CONCERNING THE BUTTONS OF THE RAMILLIE COAT V. HOW SERGEANT ZEBEDEE TRING BEGAN TO WONDER VI. WHICH DESCRIBES, AMONG OTHER THINGS, A POACHER VII. WHICH RELATES HOW THE POACHER ESCAPED VIII. OF PANCRAS, VISCOUNT MERIVALE IX. WHICH IS A VERY BRIEF CHAPTER X. INTRODUCING DIVERS FINE GENTLEMEN XI. IN WHICH LADY BELINDA TALKS XII. THE VISCOUNT DISCOURSES ON SARTORIAL ART XIII. OF INDIGNATION, A WOOD, AND A GIPSY XIV. SOME DESCRIPTION OF A KISS XV. WHEREIN IS MUCH TALK BUT LITTLE ACTION XVI. HOW MR. DALROYD SAW A GHOST AND THE SERGEANT AN APPARITION XVII. HOW MY LADY BETTY WROTE A LETTER XVIII. HOW MAJOR D'ARCY RECOVERED HIS YOUTH XIX. HOW THE MAJOR LOST HIS YOUTH AGAIN XX. HOW THE MAJOR RAN AWAY XXI. OF CRIMINATIONS XXII. WHICH RELATES HOW SERGEANT ZEBEDEE TRING QUELLED SCANDAL WITH A PEWTER POT XXIII. DESCRIBES A TRIUMPH AND A DEFEAT XXIV. DEALS, AMONG OTHER THINGS, WITH TREASONABLE MATTERS XXV. IN WHICH THE GHOST IS LAID XXVI. OF BACCHUS AND THE MUSES XXVII. HOW THE SERGEANT RECOUNTED AN OLD STORY XXVIII. THE MAJOR COMES TO A RESOLUTION XXIX. TELLS HOW LADY BETTY DID THE SAME XXX. CONCERNING CHARLES, EARL OF MEDHURST XXXI. WHICH DESCRIBES SOMETHING OF MY LADY BETTY'S GRATITUDE XXXII. FLINT AND STEEL XXXIII. DESCRIBING SOMETHING OF COQUETRY AND A DAWN XXXIV. HOW MR. DALROYD MADE A PLAN AND LOCKED HIS DOOR XXXV. HOW THE SERGEANT TOOK WARNING OF A WITCH XXXVI. HOW THEY RODE TO INCHBOURNE XXXVII. OF ROGUES AND PLOTS XXXVIII. HOW THE MAJOR MADE HIS WILL XXXIX. WHICH IS A QUADRUPLE CHAPTER XL. OF THE ONSET AT THE HAUNTED MILL XLI. CONCERNING HIGHWAYMEN AND THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE XLII. WHICH DESCRIBES A DUEL XLIII. HOW THEY DRANK A NEW TOAST XLIV. SOME ACCOUNT OF A HIGHWAYMAN XLV. CERTAIN ADVENTURES OF THE RAMILLIE COAT XLVI. FURTHER INTIMATE ADVENTURES OF THE RAMILLIE COAT XLVII. OF A FEMININE COUNCIL OF WAR XLVIII. OF THE INSUBORDINATION OF SERGEANT ZEBEDEE TRING XLIX. OF A JOURNEY BY NIGHT L. WHICH TELLS OF ANOTHER DAWN
Table of contents (by pages)
- 1: Our Admirable Betty by Jeffery Farnol
- 2: I suppose so it do be a a matter o' dooty with me dooty
- 3: Hereupon the Sergeant dropped the hammer
- 4: The hour is pre cisely three fourteen
- 5: The cherries are doing very well
- 6: Because I am so extreme fond of cherries
- 7: You sound infinite dismal and plaguily dull
- 8: Such a killing droop of the eyelash
- 9: Yet sufficiently er full and rounded
- 10: Sitting in the Sergeant's hutch like sentry box
- 11: Since being hither come you found me not
- 12: He enquired smiling a trifle ruefully
- 13: Madam 'Twould be monstrous indecorous
- 14: Aunt Belinda is ever preposterously feminine and ladylike
- 15: A wicked puss Aunt Belinda
- 16: Most of them over young and all of them vastly trying
- 17: CHAPTER VHOW SERGEANT ZEBEDEE TRING BEGAN TO WONDERMrs
- 18: Mam And wouldn't if I could
- 19: Also he's set on buying a noo wig
- 20: The clamour subsided and the crowd
- 21: Fierce eyed gentleman in the scratch wig
- 22: Dalroyd smiled faintly and turned a languid shoulder
- 23: Panted Sir Oliver in sudden frenzy
- 24: Brushed the hay from his rough and stained garments
- 25: Though suspecting witches and hocus pocus
- 26: A couple of chairs and a settee
- 27: The Viscount tossed his hat into a corner
- 28: A pasitive bunch of fiddle strings appetite bad
- 29: 'Twould be pasitively indecent
- 30: There's your d'Oyley stuff suit the Viscount groaned
- 31: The Viscount took out his snuff box
- 32: Lieth ambushed in her night soft hair
- 33: A rehabilitated footman announced 'Lady Belinda Damain
- 34: The Major fell to pondering this
- 35: Green and hairy caterpillar fell upon me whereupon
- 36: Do all fine ladies feign swoons
- 37: CHAPTER XIIN WHICH LADY BELINDA TALKS And pray mam
- 38: Such rude health and vigorous as a dairy maid
- 39: Henceforth we are conspirators
- 40: You are a joy to the eye nunky
- 41: Sergeant Zebedee blinked and coughed
- 42: The leaping rill grew to a gurgling brook
- 43: Woeful little figure in the grassy ditch beneath the hedge
- 44: Marchdale mopes at hand You mean they seek you
- 45: To day 'twas Sir Benjamin Tripp
- 46: 'Twas so unworthy your proud womanhood
- 47: The Sergeant tells me gipsies
- 48: Knobby bludgeon beneath his arm
- 49: Was vituperating grimly in Low Dutch
- 50: A grimly gobling an' that's what
- 51: 'Twas a quaking i' the ruin o' the owd mill
- 52: Marchdale with youthful petulance
- 53: Sir Jasper rolled his eyes and Mr
- 54: Yawned his lordship of Alvaston
- 55: Once again the obsequious Joseph started slightly
- 56: That sounds sufficiently ghostly
- 57: Said the Sergeant imperturbably
- 58: Why must you tattle of me to Major d'Arcy
- 59: I trust your ladyship slept well
- 60: Sergeant Zebedee stooped above a new turned border of earth
- 61: But holding it in masterful clasp
- 62: And I dared think you unmaidenly
- 63: Indeed they compelled her Major John sir
- 64: For all your dainty loveliness
- 65: Yet methinks I do love such ferocity
- 66: Hour long dreamed and yet expected never
- 67: Blunderbuss at the ready but
- 68: Staring at that slender footprint
- 69: That it should be Effingham of all men
- 70: That it should be Effingham of all men
- 71: Wherefore the Sergeant trotting behind on his stout cob
- 72: Mam black magic and sorcery damned
- 73: The Sergeant immediately saluted
- 74: I don't and versey vicey as in dooty bound
- 75: ''tis my dooty to look arter Squire's interests
- 76: Agatha CHAPTER XXIOF CRIMINATIONS Zebedee
- 77: He limped forth into the sunshine
- 78: Betty Betty God help me what am I to think
- 79: Sat Sergeant Zebedee Tring as was his wont so to do
- 80: Repeated the solemn Josh musingly
- 81: Answered the sedate and obsequious Joseph
- 82: The Sergeant glanced into his tankard
- 83: Zeb a question of no little difficulty
- 84: Betty sat apparently lost in mournful reverie
- 85: And Major d'Arcy but Lady Belinda had fled
- 86: Stung at last out of all restraint
- 87: Then happening to glance at the Major
- 88: Repeated Sir Benjamin doubtfully
- 89: Ejaculated Sir Benjamin indignantly
- 90: I didn't know Pancras had an uncle
- 91: Unless you give me cause Egad
- 92: Before them stood my lady Betty
- 93: Here the Sergeant sighed heavily
- 94: And if he goes I go as in dooty bound
- 95: I shall be compelled to out with his liver mam
- 96: The Viscount rode at his usual speed
- 97: Was a staunch Whig and Hanoverian
- 98: The Viscount half rose from his chair
- 99: Said the Viscount in deep perplexity
- 100: Thumped Alvaston on the ear and Marchdale on the nose
- 101: Cried Lady Betty and shuddered
- 102: Foxed or no and despite his hem
- 103: The Viscount bowed and stood aside to give him precedence
- 104: And let me introduce Viscount Merivale
- 105: Roared the exasperated Sir Benjamin
- 106: Marchdale with youthful indignation
- 107: Ye feathered songsters warble
- 108: Here's that misfortunate ploughboy sweating again
- 109: Silence being at last restored Sir Benjamin arose
- 110: Alvaston lay forward across the table
- 111: Narrow blade flash and dart viciously while Sergeant Zebedee
- 112: Do't again Zeb slowly man and with explanations
- 113: Murmured the Viscount and scowled at his fist again
- 114: But alone at midnight with Dalroyd
- 115: Despite this perilous position
- 116: So come your ways and be silent Pancras dear
- 117: Sergeant Zeb is improved out o' knowledge
- 118: So saying he took the Sergeant's foil
- 119: I'm for Sevenoaks on small matter o' business
- 120: Gloves and whip from Sergeant Zebedee
- 121: His limp was rather more pronounced than usual
- 122: Major John will you not sit awhile
- 123: You would not heed my signals my fan
- 124: Should see Betty O Betty
- 125: Therefore his lordship kept away
- 126: Then Medhurst rose a little unsteadily
- 127: A hoarse command and the ring of grounded muskets
- 128: Hereupon the Major opened sleepy eyes
- 129: Sergeant Zebedee found him and but for Mrs
- 130: Agatha appeared demure and smiling
- 131: She is out on the terrace with Pancras and Mr
- 132: Marchdale opening his mouth and staring
- 133: Lord Alvaston sleepy as usual and Mr
- 134: Marchdale with youthful assertiveness
- 135: For he would have us all satyrs
- 136: Shaking the entangled blades in passionate hands
- 137: My lady mam Do not call me so
- 138: For aught I can be sure What
- 139: I do think John thou'rt very mannish at times
- 140: Here the Major drew her a little nearer
- 141: Thou wilt swear to let the quarrel pass
- 142: Come let us walk awhile in this our faerie kingdom
- 143: Abduction is a capital offence
- 144: Shook his head and sighed while the Viscount panted rueful
- 145: Why as to that Zeb er Lard save me
- 146: Sorrow hath bided in me all my woeful days
- 147: Muttered Zounds and was thereafter dumb
- 148: Stiff bagnet when 'tis a case o' silence
- 149: Contrairiness ain't no word for same
- 150: Whereupon Sergeant Zebedee did likewise
- 151: They think old Betty's blind and deaf the rogues
- 152: When bowsing Keep your chaffer still
- 153: The man Benno fell back a step
- 154: To business 'tis the spiriting of a genty mort
- 155: Enquired the gipsy looking fellow
- 156: Continued the Major thoughtfully
- 157: This lane that led away between blooming hedges
- 158: Jack through and through done for and be curst to it
- 159: That's the curst queer thing about the affair
- 160: Like Effingham and yet again he's different
- 161: Cried Lady Belinda indignantly
- 162: His lordship chuckled boyishly
- 163: But you're a very persistent nunky
- 164: Questioned the Viscount staring
- 165: The Major stood silent and with head averted
- 166: Are we nigh the place Zeb d'ye think
- 167: Thronged about a lanthorn on the uneven floor
- 168: Forthwith Sergeant Zebedee hurried away and
- 169: Yawned again and having nothing particular to look at
- 170: The coach came to an abrupt standstill
- 171: To see the Major and Sergeant Zebedee
- 172: My Lord Cleeve will oblige me by acting as your second
- 173: Lord Cleeve glanced round about him quick eyed
- 174: Dalroyd lowered his weapon and bowed
- 175: And stretched out her hand to Colonel Cleeve
- 176: Jack can be as abstemious as Bacchus
- 177: Nodded the Major a little impatiently
- 178: And the word glum brings us back to petticoats
- 179: Nor will I disguise the fact that his ahem
- 180: Marchdale swore beneath his breath
- 181: Essayed our fortune with my lady Betty
- 182: Joseph crossed the room to where they lay beside the bed
- 183: Girard suddenly died misfortunate wight
- 184: And thrust them into his holsters
- 185: White teeth and espied the Ramillie coat
- 186: 'when at all put out wherefore and why the Ramillie coat
- 187: On account of her chimbley a smoking woeful
- 188: Jack Sergeant Zeb shall bring you another
- 189: The Ramillie coat in the other
- 190: Lady Betty sat awhile very still
- 191: Requiring many fierce contractions of the eyebrows
- 192: But dooty is dooty and when his honour commands
- 193: Wine of Oporto is is I say Oporto wine is is
- 194: The old regiment dooce take me
- 195: High poised above leathern stock
- 196: Then grew rigid again Dooty is dooty
- 197: And wilt thou to the cruel wars
- 198: Touching its rumpled folds with hands grown almost reverent
- 199: The Major sighed and leaning across the stile
- 200: His head aslant in that attitude of patient listening
- 201: Spurred his jaded animal to the hill before them
- 202: But mam your ladyship Shove off
- 203: Spattering blood from broken knuckles
- 204: 'tis hateful to snore and I don't snore ask Aunt Belinda
- 205: My love for thee grew mightily O mightily
- 206: Wert thou despised and outcast
