[Illustration: MR. QUEED, YOU ARE AFFLICTED WITH A FATAL MALADY. YOUR COSMOS IS ALL EGO]
QUEED
A NOVEL
BY
HENRY SYDNOR HARRISON
WITH A FRONTISPIECE BY R.M. CROSBY
[Illustration: TOVT RIEN OV RIEN]
BOSTON AND NEW YORK HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
The Riverside Press Cambridge 1911
TO MY MOTHER
CONTENTS
I _First Meeting between a Citizen in Spectacles and the Great Pleasure-Dog Behemoth; also of Charles Gardiner West, a Personage at Thirty_. 3
II _Mrs. Paynter's Boarding-House: which was not founded as an Eleemosynary Institution_. 14
III _Encounter between Charlotte Lee Weyland, a Landlady's Agent, and Doctor Queed, a Young Man who wouldn't pay his Board_. 25
IV _Relating how Two Stars in their Courses fought for Mr. Queed; and how he accepted Remunerative Employment under Colonel Cowles, the Military Political Economist_. 40
V _Selections from Contemporary Opinions of Mr. Queed; also concerning Henry G. Surface, his Life and Deeds; of Fifi, the Landlady's Daughter, and how she happened to look up Altruism in the Dictionary_. 51
VI _Autobiographical Data imparted, for Sound Business Reasons, to a Landlady's Agent; of the Agent's Other Title, etc._ 64
VII _In which an Assistant Editor, experiencing the Common Desire to thrash a Proof-Reader, makes a Humiliating Discovery; and of how Trainer Klinker gets a Pupil the Same Evening_. 79
VIII _Formal Invitation to Fifi to share Queed's Dining-Room (provided it is very cold upstairs); and First Outrage upon the Sacred Schedule of Hours_. 93
IX _Of Charles Gardiner West, President-Elect of Blaines College, and his Ladies Fair: all in Mr. West's Lighter Manner_. 104
X _Of Fifi on Friendship, and who would be sorry if Queed died; of Queed's Mad Impulse, sternly overcome; of his Indignant Call upon Nicolovius, the Old Professor_. 114
XI _Concerning a Plan to make a Small Gift to a Fellow-Boarder, and what it led to in the Way of Calls; also touching upon Mr. Queed's Dismissal from the Post, and the Generous Resolve of the Young Lady, Charles Weyland_. 127
XII _More Consequences of the Plan about the Gift, and of how Mr. Queed drinks his Medicine like a Man; Fifi on Men, and how they do; Second Corruption of the Sacred Schedule_. 137
Table of contents (by pages)
- 1: Queed by Henry Sydnor Harrison
- 2: 330XXVII Sharlee Weyland reads the Morning Post
- 3: Or he a shade more behemothian
- 4: She drew his attention to their humming environment
- 5: ' Sharlee Weyland laughed gayly
- 6: Brought him full upon the great dog Behemoth
- 7: Miss Weyland questioned the rudeness
- 8: Uplifting those who need uplifting is a separate business
- 9: Bylash didn't go out to give her the glad hand
- 10: Sharlee collapsed upon the bed
- 11: You should hear Amy Marsden talk of her enormous profits
- 12: So Fifi gathered up her things and left
- 13: Across the table from Sharlee stood another
- 14: Paynter said that he rarely slept
- 15: Sharlee followed Fifi out with troubled eyes
- 16: Queed was oblivious to the little courtesy
- 17: To night I received funds through the mail
- 18: Inside the sheet was a new twenty dollar bill
- 19: Sharlee was by no means sure that he escaped it
- 20: To Sharlee the exhibit seemed surprisingly formidable
- 21: That is because I have not conceivably made any such mistake
- 22: I helped a lady write a thesaurus
- 23: Queed that he must be very gentle with Fifi
- 24: Hence it happened that Sharlee
- 25: Queed had been inconvenienced by the little delay
- 26: Queed looked completely puzzled
- 27: With comic sections and plenty of purple ink
- 28: Queed decided to accept the fixed honorarium
- 29: Charles Gardiner West ran into Colonel Cowles at the club
- 30: Besides Sharlee Weyland and West
- 31: Surface wasn't rotting in jail in 1875
- 32: He was again bitterly disappointed
- 33: Whose name was Charlotte Lee Weyland
- 34: Queed had shown no signs of coming down
- 35: When Fifi read the little Doctor's sign
- 36: Fifi was suddenly visited by an idea
- 37: But at the door Fifi was arrested by his voice
- 38: Paynter's niece and my name is Charlotte Weyland
- 39: Sharlee sat down as she was bidden
- 40: Queed looked at her with scholarly triumph
- 41: There are no Queeds in this city
- 42: Of course Tim knows all about it
- 43: Must either become gainful or starve
- 44: Sharlee walked home through the tingling twilight
- 45: But Queed paid no attention to him
- 46: ' Queed ascended to the next floor
- 47: Queed had attended to his own business
- 48: Queed returned to his own office for his hat and coat
- 49: Klinker was physically competent
- 50: Klinker was chewing a tooth pick
- 51: The Mercury Athletic Club gymnasier and sporting room
- 52: Queed turned away from Klinker's honest eyes
- 53: Klinker explained what he meant
- 54: Her cough was quite bad to night
- 55: Mr Queed Let us see if I am right
- 56: Queed glanced impatiently at the girl's delicate face
- 57: And Bylash prudently took the dare
- 58: But then Nicolovius knew nothing about the turpentine
- 59: 40 Evolutionary Sociology 1
- 60: IX Of Charles Gardiner West
- 61: Semple West will be Semple and Something else
- 62: The lovely billow bore on Sharlee
- 63: The gift of prodigal young Beverley Byrd
- 64: Would go from the City Hall to the Governorship
- 65: And who would be sorry if Queed died
- 66: Fifi looked decidedly disappointed
- 67: Fifi retired in a fit of coughing
- 68: The thirty days of hours ceded to Klinker were up
- 69: The old man's face wore a sad smile
- 70: He flicked the fire ash from his cigar and looked at Queed
- 71: For of course Nicolovius would bear all expenses
- 72: So far as little Fifi was concerned
- 73: At the typewriter table sat Sharlee Weyland
- 74: There's this point against mitts
- 75: What is your advice as to that
- 76: Sharlee tapped the calcimine with her pointed fingernails
- 77: That you think of Fifi as your friend
- 78: The name is Miss Charlie Weyland
- 79: Meantime Fifi was examining Queed carefully
- 80: Fifi dismissed this with a smile
- 81: Fifi smiled through her wistfulness
- 82: There was Buck Klinker and there was Fifi Paynter
- 83: Sharlee did not want to do this
- 84: Over the mantel hung a gilt framed mirror
- 85: Is the editorial mogul and paragon
- 86: The Post is that sort of newspaper
- 87: The room was pretty it had reminded Queed
- 88: But they have always been honest and honorable
- 89: That Fifi said much the same thing to me
- 90: You are a failure as a sociologist
- 91: Then she pulled off her left long glove
- 92: Yet people are grateful to Palissy to day
- 93: XIV In which Klinker quotes Scripture
- 94: He called H them parallelopipedons
- 95: About Johnson and the triangles
- 96: The blaggards ought to be shot
- 97: It clearly concerned Buck Klinker
- 98: And it seemed that little Fifi had many friends
- 99: He was a motorman on the suburban line
- 100: The girls in the choir sang on
- 101: Queed fully recaptured his poise
- 102: Fifi left behind many sorrowful friends
- 103: Paynter was weeping for Fifi down in the Second Front
- 104: Or could it imaginably be said that Fifi
- 105: And his face looked so white and fierce that honest Buck
- 106: As though confident that under the right treatment
- 107: With the hearty approval of the directors
- 108: I think it puts Hannigan in a very awkward position
- 109: Queed accepted without perceptible hesitation
- 110: Queed was slated for an early march upstairs
- 111: Queed lived now in the glow of perfect physical health
- 112: The Paynter parlor knew Queed not infrequently in these days
- 113: Queed who loafed on rustic bridges
- 114: Queed now looked full middle height or above
- 115: They are subject to modification
- 116: Asked Queed how his own work had been going
- 117: Sharlee immediately changed the subject
- 118: Queed unexpectedly reentered the dining room
- 119: Queed watched her in annoyed silence
- 120: But Professor Nicolovius must know cultured gentlemen
- 121: You will tell your aunt I have given notice
- 122: His Trustees and his Troubles
- 123: Who could be secured for the same salary
- 124: The same issue carried an editorial entitled
- 125: Old Blaines College is not asking for alms
- 126: You won't help Blaines because it's poorly equipped
- 127: He took Miss Weyland to another baseball game
- 128: And Jones he summarily dismissed from old Blaines College
- 129: Should not have been bounced without Brown
- 130: West's occasional contributions to his columns
- 131: Queed explained his reluctances
- 132: Plonny could hardly have considered this courteous
- 133: People say I've got infloonce in poltix
- 134: In a nice little house on Duke of Gloucester Street
- 135: Nicolovius resumed his cigarette
- 136: He and Nicolovius were friends of convenience only
- 137: Nicolovius continued to look out of the window
- 138: Therefore Queed knew that Nicolovius
- 139: Queed for the position of editor of the Post
- 140: Wilmerding inquired the young man's age
- 141: Why couldn't we persuade you to take the editorship
- 142: Queed should have had the editorship
- 143: Sharlee now saw how unjust she had been
- 144: And Sharlee listened with sincere admiration
- 145: Sharlee left them for a moment
- 146: Sharlee looked off down the street
- 147: Turned and looked full at the Weyland piazza
- 148: Not fifty yards away from Queed
- 149: Queed heard him saying fiercely
- 150: Queed said Who are these veterans
- 151: Queed happened to know it very well
- 152: Queed had taken a vague fancy to this youth
- 153: Sharlee retired to look up hedonist in the dictionary
- 154: For Queed had been gradually driven to that unpleasant point
- 155: Queed said that he had seen it
- 156: Nicolovius had a smile for that
- 157: Queed handed the envelope to Nicolovius
- 158: Queed sat down in a big armed rocker
- 159: And their inner or personal lives
- 160: Upon Queed the old man fastened his fearless black eyes
- 161: Queed got up and lowered the window
- 162: It became gentler than Queed had ever heard it
- 163: Queed had proved his cases in a dozen ways
- 164: Eva Bernheimer who was in trouble at sixteen
- 165: Deeper than the grind of the routine detail
- 166: Was to decide upon the helpmeet
- 167: Sharlee and West spoke first of this
- 168: Sharlee Weyland's door bell rang
- 169: Sharlee caught herself observing him closely
- 170: Queed at the Business Men's Club
- 171: What was Fifi but you again in miniature
- 172: Only now I am willing to admit
- 173: Buck Klinker would be delighted to help there
- 174: Dayne will welcome you as an ally
- 175: Dayne received assurance that Mr
- 176: Was not thinking of the reformatory
- 177: Plonny did it in less than six minutes
- 178: You mentioned wire pulling just now
- 179: Is just why I'm for the reformatory
- 180: Therefore Plonny Neal's passionate earnestness surprised him
- 181: Suddenly Plonny leaned over the table
- 182: Queed thought of Eva Bernheimer
- 183: And wished that Queed would restore him his privacy
- 184: But the fervor which Plonny had imparted to it
- 185: Queed set his face against the steady downpour
- 186: Queed walked with his head lowered
- 187: Queed looked at the table cloth
- 188: You must know that I am not capable of spying on you
- 189: I owe no restitution to any one
- 190: So Queed knew that it was hopeless
- 191: I must lay the facts before Miss Weyland
- 192: Fixing Queed with a gaze of triumphant cunning
- 193: Queed thought the old man had gone off his head
- 194: Sharlee Weyland read the Post's editorial on the reformatory
- 195: Dayne was sitting bowed over his desk
- 196: Had broken down and betrayed them with a kiss Queed
- 197: Dayne saw the reformatory bill
- 198: My salary is quite satisfactory
- 199: Authorizes this legislature not to establish the reformatory
- 200: I know Plonny Neal even better than you do
- 201: He found himself facing Sharlee Weyland
- 202: Sharlee turned the key upon it and threw away the key
- 203: Plonny denied that he had any candidate
- 204: He would go back to the Scriptorium
- 205: And Queed found himself alone in the corridor
- 206: From the honest loins of Tim Queed
- 207: Tim was not disobedient to the summons
- 208: In the person of old Nicolovius
- 209: Miss Weyland would forgive West
- 210: Sharlee avoided shaking hands with him
- 211: Surface was put through bankruptcy
- 212: Why not consider it from her standpoint
- 213: They had deceived and betrayed her
- 214: Her forehead leaned against her hand upon it
- 215: So utterly unlike his usual manner of speech
- 216: But she could not forgive him a personal dishonor
- 217: He had tried to befriend a friendless old man
- 218: When young Surface came out of the front door
- 219: Best of all had been Buck Klinker Buck
- 220: Surface's son leaned against the elaborate mantel
- 221: And about this time Sharlee Weyland read
- 222: A more argumentative and insistent letter from Messrs
- 223: Bitterness flooded West's soul when he thought of Plonny
- 224: When she had seen West with Sharlee Weyland
- 225: How is that dear little Charlotte Weyland
- 226: That Sharlee Weyland viewed these matters differently
- 227: Sharlee sat still in her chair
- 228: And Sir Galahad I got out of a book
- 229: That you were in an overstrung condition
- 230: Sharlee did not like to look at his face
- 231: He overtook Tommy Semple walking the same way
- 232: As Queed had climbed by his honesty
- 233: Dayne gave his hand an extra wring
- 234: Lay the great pleasure dog Behemoth
- 235: Dayne's high backed swivel chair
- 236: Looking at her with frowning steadiness
- 237: Of a a name for this reformatory that I want to found
- 238: In an impulsive and and fruitless generosity
- 239: And I will find light remunerative work
- 240: The kindest people the kindest people Yes
