Produced by James Rusk and David Widger
A ROGUE'S LIFE
by Wilkie Collins
INTRODUCTORY WORDS.
The following pages were written more than twenty years since, and were then published periodically in _Household Words._
In the original form of publication the Rogue was very favorably received. Year after year, I delayed the republication, proposing, at the suggestion of my old friend, Mr. Charles Reade, to enlarge the present sketch of the hero's adventures in Australia. But the opportunity of carrying out this project has proved to be one of the lost opportunities of my life. I republish the story with its original conclusion unaltered, but with such occasional additions and improvements as will, I hope, render it more worthy of attention at the present time.
The critical reader may possibly notice a tone of almost boisterous gayety in certain parts of these imaginary Confessions. I can only plead, in defense, that the story offers the faithful reflection of a very happy time in my past life. It was written at Paris, when I had Charles Dickens for a near neighbor and a daily companion, and when my leisure hours were joyously passed with many other friends, all associated with literature and art, of whom the admirable comedian, Regnier, is now the only survivor. The revising of these pages has been to me a melancholy task. I can only hope that they may cheer the sad moments of others. The Rogue may surely claim two merits, at least, in the eyes of the new generation--he is never serious for two moments together; and he "doesn't take long to read." W. C.
GLOUCESTER PLACE, LONDON, _March_ 6th, 1879.
A ROGUE'S LIFE.
CHAPTER I.
I AM going to try if I can't write something about myself. My life has been rather a strange one. It may not seem particularly useful or respectable; but it has been, in some respects, adventurous; and that may give it claims to be read, even in the most prejudiced circles. I am an example of some of the workings of the social system of this illustrious country on the individual native, during the early part of the present century; and, if I may say so without unbecoming vanity, I should like to quote myself for the edification of my countrymen.
Who am I.
I am remarkably well connected, I can tell you. I came into this world with the great advantage of having Lady Malkinshaw for a grandmother, her ladyship's daughter for a mother, and Francis James Softly, Esq., M. D. (commonly called Doctor Softly), for a father. I put my father last, because he was not so well connected as my mother, and my grandmother first, because she was the most nobly-born person of the three. I have been, am still, and may continue to be, a Rogue; but I hope I am not abandoned enough yet to forget the respect that is due to rank. On this account, I trust, nobody will show such want of regard for my feelings as to expect me to say much about my mother's brother. That inhuman person committed an outrage on his family by making a fortune in the soap and candle trade. I apologize for mentioning him, even in an accidental way. The fact is, he left my sister, Annabella, a legacy of rather a peculiar kind, saddled with certain conditions which indirectly affected me; but this passage of family history need not be produced just yet. I apologize a second time for alluding to money matters before it was absolutely necessary. Let me get back to a pleasing and reputable subject, by saying a word or two more about my father.
Table of contents (by pages)
- 1: A Rogue's Life by Wilkie Collins
- 2: But he had to consult his relationship to Lady Malkinshaw
- 3: Softly was lost to the profession of Quadrilles
- 4: And we roasted what they roasted
- 5: That Thersites Junior was his own son
- 6: Even when Annabella had caught him
- 7: And scourged avengingly with the smart lash of caricature
- 8: Smoothing down his wristbands again
- 9: I thought I deserved the compliment
- 10: Batterbury shook his head mournfully
- 11: Batterbury to finish his walk for the sake of his health
- 12: Batterbury taking his walking exercise
- 13: I GAVE my orders to the colorman
- 14: Batterbury in all its native horror
- 15: Annabella glanced all round the room
- 16: Batterbury to the house of that distinguished patron
- 17: Ishmael Pickup followed my lead
- 18: Or the gentleman of ancient lineage
- 19: If the artist is not alive to vouch for his work
- 20: Pickup will only send me word by you Yes or No
- 21: Pickup and I parted company unexpectedly
- 22: Ishmael Pickup wrung his dirty hands and answered
- 23: I labeled the bottle The Amsterdam Cleansing Compound
- 24: Had this philanthropic man not done befriending me even yet
- 25: Two factious governed it a grave faction and a gay faction
- 26: And called the Lecture Theater
- 27: I opened the directory at hazard
- 28: Under these extraordinary circumstances
- 29: Society in Duskydale will be glad to hear of our departure
- 30: We have found out that he is not visited at Barkingham
- 31: And if you had seen Miss Alicia
- 32: On the box seat of the Barkingham mail
- 33: He apologized for coming down in his working dress
- 34: The footman coughed impatiently
- 35: And turned again toward the red brick house
- 36: On the occasion of my first visit to the red brick house
- 37: Life without Alicia being not worth having
- 38: Going back at once to the town of Barkingham
- 39: By putting my foot on the trellis work
- 40: I started back looked up and confronted Doctor Dulcifer
- 41: He cocked the pistol without saying a word
- 42: The second is making a felon of you
- 43: I entered on my new and felonious functions forthwith
- 44: Your social position is seriously altered for the worse
- 45: Young File and Mill worked harmoniously with me
- 46: Though Doctor Dulcifer had never actually ill used his wife
- 47: Doing our errands at Barkingham
- 48: Don't expect Screw back with the ledger
- 49: And a bottle of the Old Madeira
- 50: He has certainly dropped the tray
- 51: Father's off with the governor in the gig
- 52: I broke open the desk with the help of the stone
- 53: Was to shape my flight immediately to Crickgelly
- 54: In the name of the Reverend John Jones
- 55: Fresh medical attendance was secured
- 56: The runner only grunted this time
- 57: They've printed handbills at Barkingham
- 58: And go on resolutely to Crickgelly
- 59: Or they were not bound to Crickgelly
- 60: In one more I was in the back parlor
- 61: Baggs had a short note from him this morning
- 62: Baggs opened the doors of communication violently
- 63: Baggs forgot her nerves and winked
- 64: That I have come to Crickgelly to marry her
- 65: Baggs will end by agreeing to my proposals
- 66: Her other arm stole round my neck
- 67: Baggs impenetrably wrapped up in dignified sulkiness
- 68: Baggs resume the kindred occupations of sleeping and snoring
- 69: These were the remonstrances of Alicia and the housekeeper
- 70: Baggs raised her eyes and hands to heaven
- 71: But you're wanted back at Barkingham
- 72: They posted to within a mile of Crickgelly
- 73: Being left behind on the watch at Crickgelly
- 74: We Rogues are the spoiled children of Society
- 75: And briefly told her to remain at Crickgelly
- 76: Alicia made a very indulgent mistress
- 77: A portrait of Lady Malkinshaw hangs in the dining room
