Produced by Judith Boss. HTML version by Al Haines.
RAFFLES
FURTHER ADVENTURES OF THE AMATEUR CRACKSMAN
BY
E. W. HORNUNG
CONTENTS
NO SINECURE A JUBILEE PRESENT THE FATE OF FAUSTINA THE LAST LAUGH TO CATCH A THIEF AN OLD FLAME THE WRONG HOUSE THE KNEES OF THE GODS
RAFFLES
NO SINECURE
I
I am still uncertain which surprised me more, the telegram calling my attention to the advertisement, or the advertisement itself. The telegram is before me as I write. It would appear to have been handed in at Vere Street at eight o'clock in the morning of May 11, 1897, and received before half-past at Holloway B.O. And in that drab region it duly found me, unwashen but at work before the day grew hot and my attic insupportable.
"See Mr. Maturin's advertisement Daily Mail might suit you earnestly beg try will speak if necessary ---- ----"
I transcribe the thing as I see it before me, all in one breath that took away mine; but I leave out the initials at the end, which completed the surprise. They stood very obviously for the knighted specialist whose consulting-room is within a cab-whistle of Vere Street, and who once called me kinsman for his sins. More recently he had called me other names. I was a disgrace, qualified by an adjective which seemed to me another. I had made my bed, and I could go and lie and die in it. If I ever again had the insolence to show my nose in that house, I should go out quicker than I came in. All this, and more, my least distant relative could tell a poor devil to his face; could ring for his man, and give him his brutal instructions on the spot; and then relent to the tune of this telegram! I have no phrase for my amazement. I literally could not believe my eyes. Yet their evidence was more and more conclusive: a very epistle could not have been more characteristic of its sender. Meanly elliptical, ludicrously precise, saving half-pence at the expense of sense, yet paying like a man for "Mr." Maturin, that was my distinguished relative from his bald patch to his corns. Nor was all the rest unlike him, upon second thoughts. He had a reputation for charity; he was going to live up to it after all. Either that, or it was the sudden impulse of which the most calculating are capable at times; the morning papers with the early cup of tea, this advertisement seen by chance, and the rest upon the spur of a guilty conscience.
Well, I must see it for myself, and the sooner the better, though work pressed. I was writing a series of articles upon prison life, and had my nib into the whole System; a literary and philanthropical daily was parading my "charges," the graver ones with the more gusto; and the terms, if unhandsome for creative work, were temporary wealth to me. It so happened that my first check had just arrived by the eight o'clock post; and my position should be appreciated when I say that I had to cash it to obtain a Daily Mail.
Table of contents (by pages)
- 1: Raffles, Further Adventures of the Amateur Cracksm
- 2: Where I was a stranger only upon my present errand
- 3: By all means when you've got the billet
- 4: While the invalid inhaled with normal lips
- 5: It's the kind of wicket you don't get out on
- 6: But the fist was the fist of my sitting rabbit
- 7: This sitter Theobald is his only friend
- 8: But he did not refuse my stall for the Lyceum
- 9: Bunny my Bunny here's to us both
- 10: Drawled Raffles in casual response
- 11: We could mail you the money from Parrus
- 12: Raffles very nearly added a diamond bee brooch at L51 10s
- 13: Raffles uttered these blasphemies under his breath
- 14: Raffles laughed softly at my scorn
- 15: And the stalwart janitors looked less stalwart than usual
- 16: And Raffles looked merrily at him
- 17: Raffles had stepped a few inches backward
- 18: Raffles shouting Charing Cross
- 19: Which described Raffles as a handsome youth
- 20: Raffles had passed him unsuspected in going
- 21: Raffles was soon clinking his glass against mine
- 22: But Raffles was walking up and down
- 23: The tub took the wine to Naples
- 24: 'You are very audashuss you are very audashuss
- 25: Faustina burst out crying in the boat
- 26: Faustina seemed quite satisfied
- 27: 'Let him who wins her take and keep Faustine
- 28: Which Faustina had never told me
- 29: And then another train from Naples to Pozzuoli
- 30: That was too good for Corbucci
- 31: Se pugneva sempe e ddete pe penzare a Salvatore
- 32: If I killed him the Camorra would certainly kill me
- 33: I thought no more of our Neapolitan organ grinders
- 34: But you never knew with Raffles
- 35: Every hansom bell farther still
- 36: Mezzogiorno poco tempo poco tempo
- 37: But it was una quistione di vita
- 38: And Raffles smiled faintly upon us through his blood stains
- 39: And old Corbucci himself was bowing to me
- 40: And that we'll give him away to the Camorra
- 41: As I followed Raffles down the stairs
- 42: As Raffles finished speaking in Italian
- 43: But Raffles had chosen his moment unerringly
- 44: But Raffles only shook his head
- 45: Raffles showed me a skeleton key
- 46: And if I left all details to Raffles
- 47: But where can you get genuine Chippendale now
- 48: And presented the other to Raffles
- 49: Remarked Raffles of Lord Ernest
- 50: Lord Ernest lifted the club an inch or two
- 51: Raffles did so without a smile
- 52: Raffles waved a hand towards the window
- 53: And he advanced a couple of steps towards Belville
- 54: Raffles echoed with professional interest
- 55: Raffles was laughing in my ear
- 56: Then came Raffles with soap and water
- 57: I saw myself conducting Raffles back to his chair
- 58: I could not desert old Raffles
- 59: Raffles thanked his gods in a voice that trembled
- 60: I should have named Jacques Saillard
- 61: So she had begun pestering him already
- 62: That Raffles did not trust her
- 63: And the temporary solution was to fall ill
- 64: Unable to decide whether Raffles was really ill
- 65: He snapped so ill as to need a nurse who can nurse
- 66: And I had learnt from Raffles to appreciate such things
- 67: Theobald opened them at the unwarrantable sight of me
- 68: And Jacques Saillard had departed in a funeral brougham
- 69: His favorite name was Raffles then
- 70: But he insisted on our both having Dunlop tires
- 71: Were I a rich stockbroker in a riverside suburb
- 72: Or instead of Wormwood Scrubbs it might be Portland Bill
- 73: And three or four others danced about in their pyjamas
- 74: The pinched white hand of Raffles
- 75: What on earth's happened to Beefy
- 76: Until now the crammer had the centre of the stage
- 77: And brandished his electric torch
- 78: And Raffles ordered three morning ones
- 79: And I know Raffles envied them
- 80: No temperature and Raffles stopped himself
- 81: I dedicate the story of Corporal Connal
- 82: Connal was indeed wheeled up before the colonel
- 83: Gasped Raffles under his breath
- 84: Then suddenly Bellingham told me where his tent was
- 85: When Connal was shot in the hand
- 86: But Raffles paid no attention to their fire
- 87: When Connal had been marched to the guard tent
- 88: So there we lay together on the veldt
- 89: But Raffles lay looking at me as he lightened his bandolier
